Ooooh pretty eyes…what happened last night? I know you’re ready to be voted off, but come on.  Your performance of “Mr. Tambourine Man” was…how do I say it…ugh.

You couldn’t put forth a little more effort to stay on Idol just for me? Who am I going to stare at and picture cute little dreadlocked kids with every week? I hate to say this, and please don’t hold this against me on our wedding day, but I agree with Simon. “Pack your suitcase.” I’ll miss you.

P.S. Feel free to set that suitcase down at my house.